Tonight is the first night that I have really had to myself since Bake has been gone. Every other night I have been with friends, or been out doing something! But tonight, I just felt like staying in, by myself and watching a movie. Normally I don't like being by myself. Usually, I would much rather be out with friends, and doing something to keep my mind off of the fact that Baker is 3,623 miles away from me. Because when I have too much time to myself, I start and think..and when I start to think, I start to get sad. And then it's just all down hill from there. BUT. tonight, it was different. So I decided to rent the movie "New Years Eve." cuddle up in my blankets, and have some cookies. they're bake's favorite! that we would always make on our lazy movie nights. I had to keep the tradition. Anyways.. half way into the movie, I discover that I am sort of emotional??. hahaha like New Years Eve is NOT a sad movie! it's actually kind of cheesy. but I find myself crying! I never cry in movies. ughhh. haha but even though I wasn't able to avoid the tears, I am so glad that I stayed in tonight. It was so nice to just be left alone with me and my thoughts. As dumb as that may sound? But I was happy to just be able to sit. just to sit and think about Bake. It made me miss him so much! But surprisingly, tonight wasn't one of those "mopey, sad, depressing" I miss you's like I thought it was going to be! (minus the crying over the cheesy movie) It was more of the "whenever I'd think about him, I'd smile" kind of I miss you. (: Laying there in my bed just brought back so many memories that I haven't really have time to miss yet. I found that I missed him pausing the movie every 3 seconds, to roll over and kiss me a thousand times. I found that I missed him hiding under the blankets until I'd lift them up to see what the heck he was doing, and once I did, he'd pull me under there with him.I found that I missed him laughing at the dumbest parts of the movie, and then I couldn't help but laugh because his laugh is so stinkin contagious. I found that I missed how he is ALWAYS warm! and my room is an icebox, but i'd never notice because I always had him pressed up against me. I found that I missed hearing his heartbeat when my head was laying on his chest! and then he'd start twitching his shoulder and act like it was his heart freaking out. hahaha. so all in all, tonight really was such a good night (: and as dumb as this may sound, I felt bake with me tonight! I really did. I always pray to heavenly father, to let me just feel baker's love for me whenever I need it! and I truly believe that he answered that prayer tonight (:

welp, it's official! as of Saturday, Elder Pritchard has been out for 1 month!! (: and I finally got my first letter from him while he's been in Hawaii! I don't think I've ever ran down the stairs faster, than when I heard my mom say "Mandy, you have a letter!" haha I was smiling like an idiot the whole time I read it ( and the 6 times I read it after that) He is in an area called Hau'lua! Right next to the beach (: He said that he has already got 2 boys interested in baptism! so I hope that those go through for him! He was so cute in the letter! I can already tell how happy the mission is making him, and that makes me SO happy (: also! on Monday, I got a cute little surprise e-mail! here's a little thought from the elder himself:

it truly is a blessing to be out here mand.  i dont know what i
was thinking when i said that i did not want to serve a mission.  i
know that this is where the lord wants me, and where i want to be! it
has changed my life in ways that i could never imagine! but it has also
brought me to my knees alot! but in those times where i feel like
giving up, i think about all the people that are there helping me
stand and push the work forward. you were always there for me mand!
and i will always be here for you. i know that the lord has plans for
both of us, and if we strive to keep his commandments and endure to the
end, he will bless us in ways that we could never imagine.
something that i've realized since i have been here, is that when god
blesses you, the blessings don't just affect you, but
everyone around you. when ever you are feeling like giving up mand or
you feel like your faith isnt good enough, please don't give up. whenever you feel this way, i encourage you to read Ether 12:6.  i love you mand!

What a cute boy huh? He also said that he gave a talk in church this past Sunday! haha what a stud (: I would have given anything to hear it! (: gall he just makes me so happy! I can't even believe how lucky I am to have somebody who realizes how important a mission really is! and to have a grip on what really matters in this life. When Baker first left, I struggled a lot with knowing that I was no longer going to be a priority in his every day life. I wasn't going to be his main focus like I had been for the past 2 years. Like I was just being put on the shelf. He kept saying to me that he didn't know how often we would talk, because he had this vision in his mind of what kind of missionary he wanted to be, and nothing would stop him from getting there. He wanted to "lose himself in the work" Of course I understood that he wanted to be an amazing missionary! Infact, he probably wouldn't even have to try to be that! I already knew he was going to be amazing. But the thing that I had a hard time wrapping my head around, is why did I have to get the short end of the stick, in order for him to reach that? me...his biggest support system? But what I needed to see, was that Baker had put me first in everything he did for the past two years, and if he was EVER going to put something before me, what better than to be the lord? Through hearing Bakers testimony, and just reading the things that he has to say, I've discovered that I ALWAYS want him to put the Lord before me. because in the long run, that is what will bring me, and our family the most eternal happiness. And who in their right mind couldn't wait two short years for something THAT rewarding? Everyone's situation is different, and some boys might be able to achieve that goal without putting their relationship on hold, but when Baker has a goal, he will not let anything stop him from reaching that goal. And that's one of the qualities I admire most about him. I am so happy with my boy (: and I couldn't be more proud of how hard he is working! (: also in the e-mail, he attached some pics! (hallelujah) haha so here they are!

This is his view from his apartment on the beach! haha he's soo lucky! He is in an area called Hau'ula. He said it is honestly paradise.

aaaannd here is the cute boy himself! (: I wish more than anything I could just wrap my arms around him! I miss him more than anything!

So there's this little thing called the after e-mail/skype/letter/phone call/picture..crash. and it is my worst enemy. haha whenever I get any one of those things^ I am on this natural high! and then the second im done reading the letter, seeing the picture, or talking to him, I just hit an all time low. Because how much I miss him, hits me so hard. And the only person I want to talk to is him. and he is the only person that I want to hold me while I cry to him about how much I want him here :( but then again, if he was here, this whole thing wouldn't be a problem! Its so frustrating to want something so simple. but have it be so out of reach. Something like a simple kiss, or hearing his laugh, or feeling his arms around me, having a good morning text to wake up to, having him tickle my back, or even just laying on the couch, watching him play Xbox! haha I used to get so bugged when all he wanted to do was play Xbox. I'd be so freakin bored, and begging him to come lay next to me, and he'd just say "babe, one more game! one more round!" and I'd just roll my eyes. ha but seriously, I'd give ANYTHING to have him sitting infront of me, playing stupid Madden. Like, these things aren't that complicated! yet, they are impossible to have :(  there is this song that I have fallen madly in love with haha it's called "the longer the waiting" it's by Josh Turner. (: here are some of the lyrics:

Oh, the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss (24 months, better be a dang good kiss)

It's better my darling, I promise you this

The next time I hold you, I'm not letting go

Will you wait for me darling, I need to know (yes of course i will)

Though we won't be together again 'til the spring (March 2014)

Just imagine the treasures I'll bring (so many blessings)

Come lay with me, stay with me, soon I'll be gone

I will remember you all winter long

And when I return to the one that I miss (me)

Oh, the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss

The sweeter the kiss (can't wait)

When the mornings are warm and the valleys are green

I'll come back from wherever I've been (Hawaii)

I just love how much it applies to our situation. Even the whole spring part (: soo I had to put in my little input! hahah soo yeah, I sure hope that that kiss is as good as the song says it will be! (: I just wish that I didn't have to wait 23 more months to find out! haha... 695 days to be exact. but who's counting, right?

I will hold you in my heart, until I can hold you in my arms again <3

I love you bakey (:

xoxoxo mwah!

So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day. But I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day.

-The Notebook. <3

The reason people find it so hard to be happy, is that they always see

The past better than it was

The present worse than it is

And the future less resolved than it will be. <3

I find myself guilty of this every day! I need to learn to have faith in God and his plan. I need to learn that whatever happens, is what is exactly meant to happen! I know that God will not let anything happen, that won't make me so happy in the end. I'm so thankful to have a guy that has chosen the lord over me. Because he is out there preparing himself to be the best husband, father, and preisthood holder that he can possibly be. And now it is just up to me to become the best that I can be for him (: I told Bake in this last letter that I wrote him, that I want him to completely lose himself in his work. Because I have always heard of the quote "to find yourself you must lose yourself" but I never quite understood it fully until now. He needs to lose himself in the work, and then find himself among that work. so that when God brings him back home to me, he is exactly who God intended him to be (: Having a missionary is not easy at all. It takes so much faith and patience. Having a missionary is not for the fearful. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough. I know that at the end of all of this, I will be so grateful that I stuck it out. because I KNOW that I am waiting for the very best! And I can't wait until the day that I can wrap my arms around him again. But until then, I will work on having so much more faith in God. and bettering myself for this amazing man that Baker is becoming (:

Isaiah 52:7

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!



This next post is dedicated to my best friends. I know this blog is about me waiting, but they are a HUGE part of my process..because I literally don't know how I would have made it through this first month without them. They have kept me sane. I've never loved a group of people so much in my life. They make me SO happy. and we literally never have a dull moment. (: They have been so supportive and understanding of Baker leaving, and I will love them forever for being here for me through all of this (:

The only other thing that has gotten me through this past month (besides letters of course!) is the movie Dear John (: My all time favorite movie! haha I went and bought it from Walmart about a week ago, and I've already watched it 17 times... I'm a little obsessed I guess you could say!

If you haven't seen this movie, I would highly recommend it (: it will change your life haha.



Honestly he is THEE most handsome missionary out there (: It's not up for debate. AND he's wearing the tie I got him!!