Tonight is the first night that I have really had to myself since Bake has been gone. Every other night I have been with friends, or been out doing something! But tonight, I just felt like staying in, by myself and watching a movie. Normally I don't like being by myself. Usually, I would much rather be out with friends, and doing something to keep my mind off of the fact that Baker is 3,623 miles away from me. Because when I have too much time to myself, I start and think..and when I start to think, I start to get sad. And then it's just all down hill from there. BUT. tonight, it was different. So I decided to rent the movie "New Years Eve." cuddle up in my blankets, and have some cookies. they're bake's favorite! that we would always make on our lazy movie nights. I had to keep the tradition. Anyways.. half way into the movie, I discover that I am sort of emotional??. hahaha like New Years Eve is NOT a sad movie! it's actually kind of cheesy. but I find myself crying! I never cry in movies. ughhh. haha but even though I wasn't able to avoid the tears, I am so glad that I stayed in tonight. It was so nice to just be left alone with me and my thoughts. As dumb as that may sound? But I was happy to just be able to sit. just to sit and think about Bake. It made me miss him so much! But surprisingly, tonight wasn't one of those "mopey, sad, depressing" I miss you's like I thought it was going to be! (minus the crying over the cheesy movie) It was more of the "whenever I'd think about him, I'd smile" kind of I miss you. (: Laying there in my bed just brought back so many memories that I haven't really have time to miss yet. I found that I missed him pausing the movie every 3 seconds, to roll over and kiss me a thousand times. I found that I missed him hiding under the blankets until I'd lift them up to see what the heck he was doing, and once I did, he'd pull me under there with him.I found that I missed him laughing at the dumbest parts of the movie, and then I couldn't help but laugh because his laugh is so stinkin contagious. I found that I missed how he is ALWAYS warm! and my room is an icebox, but i'd never notice because I always had him pressed up against me. I found that I missed hearing his heartbeat when my head was laying on his chest! and then he'd start twitching his shoulder and act like it was his heart freaking out. hahaha. so all in all, tonight really was such a good night (: and as dumb as this may sound, I felt bake with me tonight! I really did. I always pray to heavenly father, to let me just feel baker's love for me whenever I need it! and I truly believe that he answered that prayer tonight (: